What are your career aspirations?
Having pursued advanced diploma and other specialist certifications in software engineering along with graduation, I had job offers from top multinational IT firms in India.
However, I chose to join as Data Analyst in mid at Firm X, a leading financial services firm in India, because I wanted to pursue my career in the finance and investment domain. This firm had huge retail clientele across multiple product lines such as insurance, mutual funds, advisory, portfolio management services etc.
My role involved in providing technological solutions to uniquely identify these clients across all the products, profile them based on the total revenue generated at the firm level and predict the riskiness of their investments. Though it was risky move as the markets had begun to crack in early and news of inevitable global meltdown was spreading like fire, I was excited with the offer considering the immense learning I would gain in the investment domain by contributing across multiple departments and by shouldering additional responsibilities in a challenging and demanding environment.
Over the next six years, I created data models and in house metrics that track economic changes and market developments, forecasts future scenarios and quantifies firm level asset concentration, limiting from over-exposure in instruments with a similar risk-return profile, and providing the appropriate diversification across the firm.
I was instrumental in building twenty two member business solutions department and trained associates on equity and derivative markets. In my zest to accentuate my career growth by gaining exposure to international markets and working in global environment, I secured a suitable position in a multinational outsourcing firm, firm Y, in Feb Over the next few years, I want to transit to new geographies in financial services space and improve my personal brand equity as a reputed professional with strong global network across diverse industries.
I also want to widen my horizon into other domains of business such as organizational behavior, strategy and positioning, marketing, etc. Later, I want to build my own financial research and advisory firm which works closely with the government and regulatory bodies in the financial products space.
Our take on the initial draft: Overall Feedback for the essay — Remember that the client is supposed to be at a social gathering. The tone of the below essay is rather dense and factual.
It has to be rewritten in a more informal and conversational manner. Since the client does not have an under graduation or specialist certifications in finance and investment, she needs to explain why she chose to pursue a career in it.
Without a reason to back it up, the AdCom may perceive this decision as confused. The sentence could be rephrased and made simpler.
Also, the client has mentioned that she wants a strong global network across diverse industries. It would make sense to explain why, in the same sentence. I also want to widen my horizon into other domains of business such as organizational behaviour, strategy and positioning, marketing etc.
This is an interesting long-term goal. It would be great though, if the client can state what excites her about working with the government and regulatory bodies. Final Cut after multiple rounds of reviews and drafts: However, it was only in the latter half of my undergraduate days that I realized I wanted a career in the investment domain.
My role here was to provide technological solutions to profile clients based on various parameters and predict the riskiness of their investments. Then came my first big break! Within seven months, my COO suggested that I be part of a member team to set up a sell side investment firm.
It was a risky move — the markets had begun to crack in early But I was excited about the learning prospects a startup would offer. Over the next six years, my role changed, from providing technological solutions, to creating financial data-models that track economic changes and market developments.
By this point of my career, I realized that I needed exposure to international markets to strengthen my prowess.
What lies ahead for me? I want to develop a personal brand as a seasoned, dependable leader in this space.Sample MBA Application Essays.
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